Tag Archives: Black Swan

MIRROR MIRROR

5 Mar

I took my usual ballet class this morning, but today, every time I looked in the mirror, I was aghast. What in heaven’s name was I wearing? My ballet skirt was too short, my tights ill fitting; I hated my leotard, those leggings! How did I come up with that outfit? I felt ridiculous.

Natalie Portman in "Black Swan" - that mirror!

During the break between the barre and the adagio I switched my leggings, switched my skirt, hoping that might help.  When I came back in the studio I thought I looked a little better – but did I really? I thought to myself, maybe its best when a dance school requires a uniform. Children at ballet schools most often have to wear specific attire – girls in pink tights, their hair in a bun and a red, blue, green, black leotard depending on their age group… maybe that is the best bet – then there are no mirror/reflection clothing issues and you can focus on what’s important – dance.

I ran these thoughts by my daughter who understood my angst. “I feel the same way,” she said. “If I feel ugly at work, I feel gross the whole day and completely out of it. But, when I’m dressed well and look good, I feel I can do no wrong.”

Truth is, the ballet studio mirror should be used for corrections to technique and alignment, not for self admiration or self esteem issues.

Fox Business had a report last month, “Look Good, Feel Good, Get Hired.” The story, by Cheryl Casone, said “A study by Duke University researchers found that CEOs are more likely to be rated as ‘competent’, and actually make more money, based just on appearance. A September article in Psychology Today was more blunt stating ‘despite the sophisticated HR advancement in hiring and compensation practices, it appears your appearance, and particularly good looks, still matter.’”

NBC's "Smash"

In the February 27 episode of the new NBC hit series Smash, Katherine McPhee’s character is taken by her fellow ensemble members for a “Broadway makeover” – they trash her closet, buy her new dance clothes and a new wardrobe, change her “look” – all in the hopes of her getting the attention, and the lead, in the Broadway musical about the life of Marilyn Monroe. Will her appearance make a difference?

For the dancer, the studio mirror tells all. Looking your best in that mirror is definitely a confidence booster, and one needs confidence to dance, particularly at my age.

I think Martha Graham had the right idea when she said, “The next time you look into the mirror, just look at the way the ears rest next to the head; look at the way the hairline grows; think of all the little bones in your wrist. It is a miracle. And the dance is a celebration of that miracle.”

She was right. Next time I look in the mirror, I hope to look at myself differently. The new reflection? Our humanity, the body and it’s miracles, and most importantly, the extraordinary miracle of dance.

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FINDING NATALIE PORTMAN

11 Oct

I know the ballet world wasn’t particularly fond of the movie Black Swan. From American Ballet Theatre’s Sarah Lane not being credited as Natalie Portman’s body double, to the implication ballet dancers are self possessed, anorexic freaks, the complaints were loud and clear. Top that off with the fact that it takes a lifetime to train to be a professional ballerina (not the one year producer’s implied it took Portman) and dancers were, for the most part, upset. And that’s understandable.

Nevertheless, I liked the movie!! I was entertained. And I tend to agree with New York Times film critic A.O. Scott who said, “Black Swan is no more about the behavior of ballerinas than its central pretext, ‘Swan Lake,’ is about the habits of birds.”

Natalie Portman as "The Black Swan." Movie Poster: Wikipedia

Besides, I LIKE Natalie Portman. I’ve always enjoyed her films (from Garden State to Cold Mountain) and was delighted when she won the Oscar for Best Actress in Black Swan last February. I thought she did a great job portraying a ballerina similar in personality to Odette, the White Swan, who slowly loses her mind as she becomes more and more like Odile, the Black Swan.

That being said, let me zoom back to a great night at The Metropolitan Opera House last May, when I attended opening night of ABT’s mixed repertory program with members of the Antony Tudor Ballet Trust. The evening included two premieres – Alexei Ratmansky’s Dumbarton and Christopher Weeldon’s Thirteen Diversions, plus a performance of Benjamin Millepied‘s Troika and a revival of Antony Tudor’s Shadowplay.

The audience was filled with ballet luminaries such as Peter Martins, Ballet Master in Chief of New York City Ballet his wife, prima ballerina Darcy Kistler; Anna Kisselgoff, former chief dance critic of The New York Times; philanthropist and former dancer Nancy Zeckendorf; Amanda McKerrow and her husband John Gardner, both former ABT principal dancers and now Tudor Trust répétiteurs; and, of course, Benjamin Millepied and his very pregnant significant other, Natalie Portman!

Tudor's "Shadowplay" on YouTube - Anthony Dowell, 1967

Ok, I’m star stuck! I’m a fan. Natalie’s big time – an Oscar winner and girlfriend of one really cool choreographer… how could I not be excited when I went to the rest room at intermission and came face to face with the Black Swan herself! Very pregnant and very gorgeous, there she was, waiting in line next to me, and then the two of us were there, alone together, at the sink!

Staff of The Tudor Trust at the Met for ABT's "Shadowplay" Premiere

My mind was racing. Should I say something? A hello? Make a comment? Introduce myself as a member of the Trust? Say something pedestrian like, “I love your work,” or, “Congratulations on your Oscar?” Or how about, “Good luck with the baby?” Instead I just stood there and looked at her. Then she looked at me, and I looked at her again. She glanced at me once more, because I looked twice. And I didn’t say anything. Not a word.

I eventually returned to my seat, after a chat with some friends in the lobby. I plopped down next to Amanda McKerrow and said excitedly, “Guess who I just ran into in the ladies room? Natalie Portman!” And what do you think Amanda said? “Gee, Adria, I would have introduced you to her – I was just hanging with her and Benjamin by the bar. I would have introduced you, but I didn’t see you……..”

Oh. My. God.

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